Singles and Doubles (Vol 1)
Welcome to “Singles and Doubles”. The idea behind this feature is to pluck thoughts from the Storm that aren’t beefy enough by themselves to be the subject of a full essay on The Storm. By Norm, but when lumped together, they can be . . . something. Maybe they aren’t home runs, but singles and doubles are good, too. Let’s see how it goes.
Leading off . . .
Having to learn English must be a horrible experience. It often makes zero sense. Words that have multiple meanings, multiple words that mean the same thing, similar looking words that sound different, words that sound the same but are spelled differently, sometimes silent vowels and/or consonants, sometimes not, letters with multiple sounds, I mean, come on. I am for richness and variety in language, but often English seems, well, like a big mess, you know?
Batting second . . .
I’m a big fan of the Golden State Warriors and most of the last 9 years have been great. Four championships, could have had two more, and many, many highlight reel moments. This year, defending their fourth title, has been difficult. They have beaten top teams like the Boston Celtics and the Memphis Grizzlies, and lost to bottom feeders like Detroit (twice) and Orlando (twice). They also lost to a Phoenix Suns team missing four starters and two top reserves. This season, when the Warriors are doing well, they can be great. When they are doing poorly, they really suck. Often they swing from great to terrible in the same game. It’s frustrating. Each time they turn the ball over, it is like being poked in the eye with a #2 pencil. I ask my wife, “Why do I torture myself by watching these guys?” She says, wearily, having heard it many times before, “Because that’s what you do, Dear.”
Hitting third . . .
The Song of the Week: “New Horizons” by The Moody Blues, from “Seventh Sojourn” – 1972, written by Justin Hayward.
Clean-up . . .
How low do you let your gas tank get before you stop for gas? I run my car right down to almost empty. Not to be braggy, but I have never run out of gas in all my years of driving. Came close quite a few times. My daily driver is a 2001 Monte Carlo and when that low fuel light comes on, I’m not concerned. I know how far I can go. That’s me – living life on the edge.
In the 5 hole . . .
My wife makes the absolute bestest cookies. They have white chocolate chips and a fistful of walnuts, and . . . some other stuff. She bakes them for the perfect amount of time so that they have a thin, crispy outside, surrounding a soft inside. They’re fantastic. I have told her many times, “These are great. The Keebler elves can suck it.”
Sixth . . .
Where I live, we have over 300 sunny days a year. Why aren’t solar panels required for every new house built here? Like a water heater or furnace or indoor plumbing? It was one of the best home improvements we’ve ever made. We reaped tax benefits when we had solar panels installed several years ago, and our total electric bill for a whole year now is right around $260. Yes, you read it correctly. $260 for a whole year. And, that amount is for access to the grid and taxes and fees. Plus, we are doing something good for the planet. Solar is the way to go in this part of the world.
In the 7 spot . . .
Hands are amazing. Sometimes I become aware of what my hands are doing, as they are doing it. Simply to watch them working in tandem, or independently of each other, is fascinating. I know how this sounds – I am easily amused, or I need to get a hobby. Well, yeah, obviously. But, try being aware of all the things they do as you are getting dressed. You’ll be impressed.
Slotted in at #8 . . .
Greatest guitar player of all time? Stevie Ray Vaughan.
There for a reason at #9 (I anchored many a lineup batting 9th) . . .
To the owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Bob Nutting: Please sell the team. According to Forbes magazine, the Pirates are worth $1.32 billion. So, sell the team, take the $1.32 billion, add it to the $1.1 billion you already have, and ride off into the sunset. Let someone who cares about winning take over. I get it that you are a businessman, and the goal of every businessman is to make money. I also get it that the Pirates are profitable whether they win or not. But, you have been running the Pirates for 16 years, and have had only 4 winning seasons and 0 World Series appearances. You have shown no inclination to dip into those deep, deep pockets and spend what is necessary to put a winner on the field, as other billionaire owners have done in other cities. How much more money do you need? You are already a billionaire, for crying out loud! It has been my dream to see a World Series in Pittsburgh before I croak. I thought it would happen in 1992, but Francisco Cabrera and Sid Bream crushed that dream in the playoffs, and I’m still not over it. Since then, it has been decades of baseball in the wilderness. I fear that with a cheapskate such as you for an owner, I have a better chance of being anointed King of Saturn than I do of seeing the Pirates in a World Series. Enough already. Just sell the damn team and let us fans get on with supporting a winner. Thank you.
