Singles and Doubles Vol 7

Seventh Time's a Charm

1^st INNING

On one of my daily walks, I saw this on the side of the road:

Question #1: Where’s the other shoe?

Question #2: How does this happen?

Question #3: Wouldn’t you notice if you lost a shoe?

Question #4: If you lost a shoe, what would you do with the remaining shoe?

Question #5: Why does any of this matter to me?

2^nd INNING

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a joke. Always has been. For many years, they ignored bands such as Yes, Rush, The Moody Blues, and Chicago in favor of The Stooges, Eminem, and Run DMC, among others. It’s not the Rap Hall of Fame, not the Punk Hall of Fame, not the Music Hall of Fame, not the Billboard Hall of Fame, not the Songwriters Hall of Fame, not the Bizarro Hall of Fame, it’s the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, you morons. Now they are putting in Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton? She’s a great Country Music star, and seemingly an all around wonderful human being. But, she does not belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame any more than I do. Chrissakes.

Look up the word “irrelevant” in the dictionary. This picture will be right next to it.

3^rd INNING

Best basketball player of all time? Wilt Chamberlain. It has been said that the NBA Record Book reads like Wilt’s personal diary. Even though it’s been 50 years since he played, his name is still all over the record book. 100 points in a game, 55 rebounds in a game, the only center in history to lead the league in assists, the list of records goes on and on. Other players were in awe of Wilt.

Now, Wilt had his faults. He was a terrible free throw shooter, and it could be debated that, for all his greatness on the court, he did not make his teammates better, and, as proof, his detractors refer to the fact that he only won two championships. Did Wilt care more about personal success, rather than team success? Possibly.

But, this discussion is about the best basketball player. Not the greatest winner or teammate - that would be the incomparable Bill Russell, with his 11 championship rings. Recency bias will put the focus on Michael Jordan or LeBron James as the greatest of all time. To make my case for Wilt, all I have to do is point to the record book. Count up how many times his name is mentioned. No one has ever done, or will ever do, what Wilt Chamberlain did on the basketball court.

Wilt after his 100 point game, March 2, 1962, seventeen years before the NBA adopted the 3-pt shot.

4^th INNING

My nominee for “Most Misunderstood TV Character of All Time” is: Skyler White of Breaking Bad. Many fans hated her because, I don’t know, she wasn’t the supportive little woman that wives are supposed to be? Because she was trying to protect her children from their murderous, lying, dangerous, drug manufacturing and drug dealing father? Because she fought back?

Skyler was not perfect, that much is true. In fact, it could be argued she “broke bad” herself and was a hypocrite. After all, eventually she agreed to launder Walt’s drug money, and she basically ruined the life of poor, stupid Ted Beneke.

However, Skyler (and the actress who portrayed her, Anna Gunn) did not deserve the vitriol she received from fans of the show. Would it have been better if Skyler White had been mousy, malleable, and clueless? No. The show would not have worked if Walter White had been surrounded by weak, ineffectual characters. Strong, but flawed, characters are what made Breaking Bad great.

Skyler White did what she had to do and was vilified for it. Why do people hate women who refuse to be subservient to men?

5^th INNING

Well, I finally got a haircut. I knew it was time because my wife said to me, “You need a haircut.” Usually she hints around first, but not this time. It hadn’t been cut for close to a year. It was kind of longish, I guess. Now it kind of looks similar to Justin Hayward’s hair. I am not saying I look like the lead singer and guitarist of The Moody Blues. I’m saying my hair kind of looks like his.

A few months ago, as I entered a restaurant, a man behind me said, “Hey, you look like an old hippie. Did you play rock and roll back in the sixties?” I said, “Maybe.” I was nonplussed. Who says stuff like that to a stranger? And, anyway, how old did he think I am with that sixties shit? That guy was no spring chicken, either. I should have told him to go fuck himself. I guess at my advanced age, I don’t think as fast as I used to.

Justin Hayward. Not Norm.

6^th INNING

The zipper is a great invention that does not get enough attention for being great. What would our lives be like without zippers? We take their ease of use for granted, never giving them a first or second thought.

I suppose we would still be using buttons, hooks, and drawstrings if we had no zippers. What a pain that would be, right?

I have never been on the cutting edge of popular fashion, but I do remember trying on a pair of button-fly Levi’s back in the day. I recall thinking that buttoning and unbuttoning my fly seemed like more work than it was worth. So, I didn’t buy them. Once again, I was on the outside looking in regarding what was popular and fashionable. And, it didn’t bother me a bit.

One of the greatest inventions the world has ever known.

7^th INNING

Here’s a gentle, respectful reminder to all the Christians out there: The Constitution of the United States prohibits the establishment of a national religion. It also says no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification for any office or public trust. And, one of our founders, the second President of the United States, John Adams, said, “The Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.”

Which all means we do NOT live in a “biblical republic”, as some folks have said. While it is true that more Americans identify as Christian than any other religious group, and many (but not all) of the founders believed in Christianity, the United States of America is NOT a “Christian” nation. And, we are not a Jewish nation, or Buddhist nation, or Muslim nation, or an atheist nation. Supposedly, America welcomes everybody. Freedom of religion and all that (the Constitution again).

The rise of Christian nationalism is to be feared, not applauded. We’ve seen what happens in other countries when religious fanatics take over. Our Constitution is pretty specific on whether we should have a state-sponsored religion or not.

I am in no way denigrating Christianity. Many of the people I love and care about would identify as Christian. I do believe, however, all Americans have the right to pray to any deity they choose, and to live their lives with whatever level of piety works for them.

And, that no one has the right to force their particular religion on the rest of us.

By the way, the Pilgrims came here to get away from the Church of England, a state-sponsored religion. Just so you know.

Even Ronnie knew church and state had to be separate.

8^th INNING

My suggestions for Dumbest Team Nicknames in Major North American Professional Sports:

• NFL - Washington Commanders. When the Washington NFL franchise rightly, if belatedly, jettisoned their offensive nickname, they could have chosen anything in the world and this is what they chose? Does anybody like this name? If this was the best they could come up with, the others must have been really horrible.

• NHL - Minnesota Wild. This sounds incomplete. Minnesota Wild - what? Wild Things? Wild Horses? Wild Men? Wild Women? Wild Animals? Wild Cats? Wild Wings? Wild what?

• MLB - New York Mets. What in the hell is a Met?

• NBA - Utah Jazz. Does the stupidity of this really need an explanation?

• Special Mention - NBA - Los Angeles Clippers. This team started out as the Buffalo Braves. After a few years, someone thought, “Why are we playing a winter sport in Buffalo, New York when we could be in sunny San Diego?” So they moved the team to San Diego and became the Clippers. A few years later, they moved up the coast to Los Angeles. My question is - when they moved to San Diego, why did they decide to name their team after a toenail trimming tool?

The new logo of the Los Angeles Clippers.

9^th INNING

Got a good laugh in the news recently. 154 Presidential scholars who are current or recent members of the American Political Science Association were asked to rate every president on a scale from 0 to 100. Abraham Lincoln topped the list with an average score of 93.87, while Joe Biden’s score was a somewhat surprising 62.66, which tied John Adams for 13th. It should be no surprise, however, that the 45th President, Cheetoface, scored 10.92, coming in dead last. 10.92! Hahahahahahahaha!

Surveys such as this are subjective, of course, and the merits of this kind of exercise can be debated. It was interesting, though, that experts responding to the survey who self-identified as conservatives, rated Biden 30th, while liberals put him 13th, and moderates ranked him 20th. Each of those groups ranked the Orange Turd in the bottom five, well below Joe Biden. Hahahahahahahaha!

I would vote for a cadaverous Joe Biden, or just about anybody else, without a moment’s hesitation, if the opponent was #45, the Worst President in History.

The bottom of the Presidential barrel.

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Care to say anything about Singles and Doubles Vol 7? Well, then . . .