Singles and Doubles Vol 9

Nine is Fine

1st INNING

I’m not one to say famous athletes should “shut up and play”. I would not begrudge anyone’s right to have an opinion, and to express it in any way they choose.

However . . .

When using one’s fame, notoriety, or celebrity to advance a particular point of view, it opens up the opportunity for others to express their opinions on that point of view.

Case in point: Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker recently gave what some folks considered a controversial, opinionated commencement address at Benedictine College, a small Catholic college in Atchison, Kansas. 

I support Harrison Butker’s right to think whatever he wants. And, I reserve that right for myself, as well. Based on what I’ve read about his speech, my opinion is that Harrison Butker is a troglodyte who pretends to care about women, as long as they are in the kitchen or cleaning house or having babies.

There is nothing wrong at all with women who choose to be wives and mothers and homemakers. But, in our enlightened, 21st Century society, women do not have to be limited to only ancient traditional roles. They can fill any role they darn well please. And, those women should be equally appreciated. In my opinion.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, when asked about Harrison Butker, was quoted as saying about NFL players,

“They have a diversity of opinions and thoughts just like America does. I think that's something that we treasure and that's part of ultimately what makes us as a society better.”

Okay, Rog, whatever you say.

However, I wonder if Colin Kaepernick felt the same tolerance when he was blackballed by the NFL for peacefully drawing attention to the serious issue of police brutality. Admittedly, there are differences between these situations. I’m not advocating for the NFL to do anything, one way or another. I just find it . . . curious.

2nd INNING

Chances are, I am never going to be voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. But, I have a short speech prepared, just in case. It goes like this:

“Thank you, everybody! Thank you for the truly humbling adoration and wild, over-the-top applause! Thank you!

“Okay, I’ll make this brief. I want to thank my first coaches, Coach Bob and Coach Gordon, for taking a chance on a clumsy teenager with a dream. And, I want to thank my many teammates and coaches over the years, who helped me be the great player I turned out to be.

“I want to single out my high school baseball coach for special mention. I specifically want to not thank him, because that prick did not teach me a goddamn thing about baseball. He thought I was not worth his time, so screw him.

“Anyway, I am proud and honored to be included with all these great players seated behind me here on the dais. They paved the way for my success, and I never want to forget that. Thanks, guys.

“And, thanks to all the fans who showed up today. See you here again next year!”

Me doing my Roberto Clemente impersonation.

3rd INNING

Well, another trial has come and gone for Biden’s predecessor. And, once again, he declined to testify in his own defense, after saying beforehand that he could not wait to take the stand.

Of course, we all knew that was bullshit, right? We knew because he is a lying liar, who is completely incapable of being truthful. We knew because he is a fucking coward, who is deathly afraid of being found out as the small, pathetic, ignorant man he really is. We knew because he is a criminal who has a hell of a lot to hide. And, we knew, because the longer he can be the endlessly martyred victim in the eyes of the MAGA cult, the longer the grift perpetrated on the Orange Kool-Aid drinkers can continue.

Once again, the witness chair remained empty because Don Felonious was too much of a chickenshit to testify on his own behalf.

4th INNING

Random picture of my assistant, Pearl, and me, deep into the creative process. Just because.

5th INNING

In a presidential election year, almost all the attention goes to the Presidential candidates. However, taking the long view, I believe Democrats are screwing up if they do not run a candidate in every single local race in every precinct in America. I’m sure some bean-counting consultant said they shouldn’t even bother with unwinnable county commissioner races in Magaville, Missouri, and other such redder than red places. Better to spend the money where they actually have a chance to win.

But, how do you think Republicans became dominant at the local level, when many of their stated positions on the issues run counter to majority opinion? Abortion rights? Sensible gun control? Affordable healthcare for all? Close tax loopholes for the rich? These issues are winners for progressives and favored by a majority of Americans. However, locally it is difficult to make progress on anything with regressive, gerrymandering Republicans in charge. They have fought for every office. And now, in many areas, they are so entrenched it almost seems hopeless.

If progressives ever want to be back in power, they’re going to have to fight like hell for every elected position. Like Jess Piper is doing in Missouri. For those who do not know, Jess writes A View from Rural Missouri by Jess Piper on Substack. She is a Democrat in a very red state, and she is fighting the good fight locally.

If Democrats or Liberals or Progressives ever want anything to change, they’re going to have to do what Jess is doing in Missouri and fight for it. If Democrats let local races go unopposed, missing the chance to tell voters what they stand for, then who can blame voters for thinking Dems stand for nothing?

6th INNING

Sometimes I do the dumbest things. There are so many from which to choose, but I’ll just give one example here. A few years ago, we went to my nephew’s high school graduation party in Pennsylvania. I grew up in that area, so I know a lot of folks from back in the day. At the party, there was a guy who was in my graduating class in high school. I hadn’t seen this guy for many, many years. We talked for a bit, then he pointed out an elderly fellow sitting at one of the tables. It was our old gym teacher. My friend, being the affable type, says, “Let’s go over and talk to him.”

I really did not want to do that. What could I possibly have to say to my old gym teacher? No way he would ever remember me because there was nothing memorable about me in high school. And, it had been so very long ago, anyway. Plus, sometimes, in social situations, I can be painfully awkward, not knowing what to say or do with myself.

However, I reluctantly went over to say “Hello”. As I made my way to where my old gym teacher was sitting, my mind began to race. What could I possibly say to the guy?

So, I walked up and introduced myself, shook his hand, and said the first thing that popped into my mind - “Why didn’t we play dodgeball more often?”

As soon as the words crossed my lips, I thought “What a stupid thing to say, Dumbass! What the hell is wrong with you?” I don’t even remember his response. I excused myself and got away from him as quickly as I could.

Unfortuately, this kind of thing happens more often than I would like to admit. It can be a struggle to keep my social anxieties from making me look like a fool.

Sometimes, I just want to hide.

7th INNING

In February 2024, Nikki Haley said of her Republican primary opponent, the Lying Orange Cancer, “Many of the same politicians who now publicly embrace (him) privately dread him. They know what a disaster he's been and will continue to be for our party.” She has said, “He’s not qualified to be the President of the United States.” She also called him, “unstable and unhinged” and that making him the nominee would be “suicide for our country”.

In May 2024, Nikki Haley said of the Lying Orange Cancer, “I will be voting for (him).” Because of course she did. Can anyone be surprised?

Nikki Haley joins a long list of gutless Republican hypocrites. For every Liz Cheney or Lisa Murkowski or Mitt Romney, there are dozens and dozens of cowardly Republicans who put their party and their ambitions above their country. I can accept the fact that other people might have different political views than mine. I cannot accept blind party loyalty as an excuse for not doing what is right. And, make no mistake, this election is not about policies or parties or platforms. It is about right and wrong. And, there is absolutely no way voting for that lying sack of shit, who is now a convicted felon, is ever going to be the right thing to do. Not ever. Even if the other candidate is a diminished, frail old man.

The face of Republican hypocrisy.

8th INNING

I suppose it could be said I spew forth a lot of negativity when I write about politics. To that, I would say, “Hey, look around! There are a lot of reasons to be negative.”

However, in the interest of showing a little positivity, I’m going to throw a bit of praise toward a couple of politicians who actually provide a modicum of hope for the future: Representative Jasmine Crockett of Texas, and Representative Jared Moskowitz of Florida.

Crockett and Moskowitz are Democrats from red states who aggressively fight back against the MAGA moron extremists in Congress. They are not afraid to call bullshit on the morons, and they do it with facts and intelligence, with a bit of snark, too. The progressive point of view needs more elected officials like Jasmine Crockett and Jared Moskowitz. I hereby bestow upon them, the coveted The Storm. By Norm Seal of Approval.

9th INNING

In my news feed everyday, sometimes I get a few stories from local news outlets. A few months ago, one of the TV stations here in town posted this headline on its website: “Suspicious Death of Woman’s Body Found Over a Month Ago Remains a Mystery”. Huh? For chrissakes, a 5th grader could have written a better, more coherent, less stupid-sounding sentence. “Death of Woman’s Body”? What??

And, another thing - the word “remains” to me, is a problem. I would never use “remains” in a sentence about a dead body, unless I was referring to the dead body. By using it the way they did, it could be read that the unfortunate dead person’s “remains” are a mystery. Or, is it that the death “remains” a mystery, as in the case continues to be unsolved?

Even worse, it could seem as if the headline writer was making a pun with the two meanings of “remains”. Which would really be despicable in a headline about a person who has died. See what I mean? A better headline would have been, “Suspicious Death of Woman Found Over a Month Ago Still a Mystery”. Geez, it’s not that hard.

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