The Bottom Five
There Are a Lot More Than Five Candidates For This List
Collectively speaking, the Cabinet in this second go-round for the Convicted Felon President has got to be the worst, most underqualified, most useless bunch of toadies, knuckleheads, and ass-kissing sycophants in the history of our great republic.
They are even worse than the Criminal’s first administration. There were a few in that group who would, at least occasionally, try to keep their ignorant boss from doing something too stupid. (As it turned out, it was an impossible task.) Most staff members simply went along with whatever harebrained idea popped into his empty head, but there were rare occasions when a staffer would try (unsuccessfully) to get him to do what was right.
It seems that no one in today’s Cabinet has any interest in doing that.
In this post, I’ll examine the worst of the worst in the current Cabinet. Forever after, they’ll be known as members of The Bottom Five.
Secretary of Education Linda McMahon
Linda McMahon was one of many head-scratching choices for the Cabinet. Question: What in her experience as CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment qualified her to run the Department of Education? Answer: Not a darn thing.
So, why was she nominated to be Secretary of Education?
Well, a common trait of The Bottom Five is an unabashed willingness to kiss the ass of their Moron President. That’s number one of one for all of them. In Linda McMahon’s case specifically, she and her husband, wrestling mogul Vince McMahon, consistently showered him with the praise he is so desperate to receive, and contributed millions and millions of dollars over the years to elect him to the Presidency. I am not implying there was anything technically illegal about these contributions, just that the Orange Menace, being a transactional kind of guy, has always looked to reward his biggest suckups.
McMahon did serve one year on the Connecticut Board of Education. It came out later that she falsely claimed to have a degree in education on a 2009 questionnaire for the position. She said it was a mistake. So, either she was genuinely confused by the question, or she lied. Neither choice makes her look very good.
It is difficult to have confidence in a Secretary of Education who, during a Senate hearing, had a tough time making sense of simple math. In a discussion of budget numbers, she incorrectly calculated spending $1.5 billion annually over a ten year period would add up to $1 trillion. (For the mathematically challenged, the correct answer is $15 billion. She was only $985 billion off.) Being a math whiz is not a requirement to be a Cabinet secretary. But let’s face it, screwups like that do not inspire confidence in one’s mental capabilities.
McMahon opened herself up for more ridicule by repeatedly calling Artificial Intelligence “A1”, you know, like the steak sauce, and not “AI”, as in the commonly accepted shorthand way for referring to Artificial Intelligence. Even I am not that clueless.
Plus, a Google search reveals this:
A troubling lawsuit alleges that in the 1980s, Linda and Vince McMahon knew about and failed to stop a WWE employee from sexually abusing teenage "ring boys".
This disturbing case is winding its way through the courts.
Linda McMahon is in way over her head and only has the job because of her long time support of the Criminal President, and because she will do what she is told as the Department of Education is gutted, left to twist slowly in the wind until it withers and dies. America’s school children deserve better than this.
United States Attorney General Pam Bondi
Unlike many of her fellow Cabinet members, Pamela Jo Bondi has some experience relevant to the Cabinet position she currently holds. Bondi has a BA in criminal justice from the University of Florida and a JD (Juris Doctor) from the Stetson University College of Law. She was the Attorney General for the state of Florida from 2011 to 2019. So a case can be made that Pam Bondi met a few of the minimum requirements to be considered for the position of Attorney General of the United States.
However, Bondi’s many critics say she has prioritized loyalty to the Criminal President over an independent Department of Justice, in effect, weaponizing her department to go after the President’s many enemies. For example, Bondi was under heavy pressure to secure indictments against former FBI director James Comey and State of New York Attorney General, Leticia James. Bondi, at the behest of the Criminal President, appointed his personal lawyer, Lindsey Halligan, as interim US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia to pursue indictments in these cases. Which were dismissed by the court because the appointment of Halligan violated constitutional appointment laws.
This should not have to be said, but an Attorney General of the United States should be upholding the laws of the land, not breaking them.
Pam Bondi has been a fervid election denier, participating in the Big Lie that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from Dozey Don. To me, this should be an automatic disqualifier for any government job. We’re going on six years of this bullshit and they still have not produced any evidence of widespread fraud in that election. Which is why they lose every time they go to court. It is way past time for the election deniers to shut the fuck up about it. But, Bondi, and the rest of the enablers, cultists, and sycophants can’t do that. They risk losing the favor of their pea-brained president. So, the lies continue.
Of course, the only real requirement to be Attorney General in the Criminal President’s administration, is a willingness to run the Department of Justice as his own private law firm, and to dish out political retribution against the Convicted Criminal President’s numerous enemies. That’s what Pam Bondi does, to the detriment of all Americans. An independent DOJ is a quaint anachronism these days, thanks to Pam Bondi and her Criminal President.
Oh, and by the way, how many pedophiles named in the Trump-Epstein files has Bondi prosecuted? The answer is: the same number of pigs that have been known to fly. What a disgrace Pam Bondi is.
(Norm’s Note: As you all know, I never use the Criminal President’s given name. He does not deserve that respect. However, in response to an excellent suggestion by Jimmy Kimmel, I will make this specific exception and refer to the Epstein files as the Trump-Epstein files from now on.)
Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F Kennedy Jr
I have written about this guy before, so I won’t go into too much detail on him. Kennedy Jr is just a weirdo. A weirdo’s weirdo. But not in a cute, endearing, humorous kind of way. I mean weird in an unsettling, scary, almost dangerous kind of way.
Dangerous?
Yes.
According to the Google, Kennedy Jr is overseeing a “systematic dismantling of the nation's vaccine system”. Under his watch, the US has had the worst measles outbreak since the 90s. He fired 17 independent members of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices, in an effort to replace folks who believe in proven science with anti-vaxxers whose views align with his. Kennedy Jr cancelled $500 million in funding for mRNA vaccine research and development, leaving us vulnerable to experiencing another pandemic.
Kennedy Jr endangers the good health of all Americans with his loony, anti-science agenda. Let us not forget Kennedy Jr is not a doctor or a scientist. He has a law degree and a BA in American history and literature. He has been an environmental attorney. And he had a long addiction to heroin in his younger days.
I am not the first one to suggest he fried off too many of his brain cells during that time in his life.
Before the election, the Convicted Felon Candidate received Kennedy Jr’s endorsement. Then after the election, guess what? Kennedy Jr received a Cabinet post. Coincidence?
Uh, no.
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth
I’ve written about this unqualified loser before, too. Hegseth is the guy who, as Secretary of Defense, stupidly shared classified information about a US strike in Yemen in an unsecured group chat with friends and relatives, and the editor-in-chief of The Atlantic magazine, putting American intelligence and military personnel in extreme danger. That alone should have been reason enough to fire his ass.
Hegseth is the guy who cared so little about the morale of the military, he called all the generals to a big meeting at Quantico to berate them publicly for being “fat” and “woke”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting our military to be in good physical condition, however, with stunts like this there is little wonder why military morale has been said to be at an all time low.
Hegseth is the guy who allegedly committed a war crime when he gave a verbal order to “kill everybody” after a strike by the US military against suspected drug runners in boats off the coast of Venezuela left a couple of incapacitated survivors clinging to wreckage in the water. He ordered a second strike to kill those survivors, like it was some video game and not a violation of international law.
Hegseth is a guy who, to his credit, served in Afghanistan and Iraq, and received several awards and decorations for his commendable service. However, having served in the military does not mean he is qualified to run a huge department like the Department of Defense. In fact, it could be argued that his many personal failings disqualify him from being in charge of anything.
Hegseth is a guy whose most recent job was talk show host on Fox “News”, where he faced allegations of drinking while working. Before that, he reached a financial settlement with a woman who accused him of sexual assault. Before that, Hegseth was forced to resign from Concerned Veterans for America because of allegations of financial mismanagement, alcoholism, and fostering a sexist and hostile workplace.
It’s not hard to see the pattern. He fucks up wherever he goes.
Hegseth is a guy who, since he has been Secretary of Defense, has done nothing but embarrass himself and his country with his incompetence.
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem
Same story. I have written about this unqualified loser before, too. We all know how horrible she is. From bragging about the killing of a puppy and a goat that became too inconvenient for her to manage, to her penchant for playing dress up in photo ops, leading to her unflattering nickname, ICE Barbie, to her gross mismanagement of the government’s response to the devastating floods in Texas early in her tenure as Secretary, to her spectacularly irresponsible and incompetent leadership in all matters regarding the deployment of the ICE Gestapo around the country, but especially in Minnesota, Kristi Noem is always in the headlines, but never for reasons of competence at her job.
How does this woman sleep at night? Is she too stupid to realize she is a total fuckup and embarrassment, so much so that she actually stands out in a Cabinet full of fuckups and embarrassments?
I have a really hard time getting past ICE Barbie’s deplorable response to the killings of American citizens by members of ICE and CBP on the streets of Minneapolis. Kristi Noem has proven herself to be soulless, heartless, brainless, worthless, and, to invent a new word, competenceless.
I’m tired of writing about this despicable human being.
You know, in an administration of sycophants, losers, ass-kissers, and incompetents, it is difficult to identify only five who are the worst of the worst. There are many candidates worthy of inclusion on a list of The Bottom Five. And, the list can change, depending on the news of the day.
How sad for America.
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Do you have something to say about The Bottom Five? Well, then . . .
Oh man. Sick sick sick sick sycophants. And what about Miller? He's horrific! Thank you for this, Stormin' Norman!
Hi Norm,
You're list is right on point. These are the worst of the worst. Of course the rest of the cabinet are sycophants as well. I knew if he got reelected he wouldn't choose competent people because they stood in his way last time. For example, Mark Millie. When Trump walked across the street to hold the Bible upside down, he wanted the military to shoot the protesters. Mark Millie said "No." Well, we know now the Kristi Noem has no problem with ICE executing American citizens in broad daylight. What a hellscape our country has become (shaking my head).