The Academy Awards are voted on by people in the motion picture industry, so, in essence, they are giving awards to themselves. And, there is nothing wrong with that. The Oscars are simply an excuse for Hollywood people to get all fancied up and put on a show to celebrate each other. It’s kind of hokey and meaningless in the whole grand scheme of things, but, so what?
I got to thinking about all of this and decided that if the Motion Picture Academy can do it, why can’t I? Albeit on a much smaller scale, obviously. (I will not be getting fancied up.)
Therefore, here at the end of the year, it seems like the ideal time for your friends at The Storm. By Norm (me) to celebrate the writers (me), producers (me), researchers (me), gofers (me), typists (me), and executive assistants (Pearl), with what could be yearly awards (we’ll see). I’m calling these “The Stormies”. All right, let’s see how it goes.
The first award is for “The Essay That Did Way Better Than I Thought It Would Award”. And The Stormie goes to:
“Censored!”, posted on April 8, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/censored
This essay was me settling an old score with my former employer - the library. The post was about how some months before, I had written a book review for the library’s website that some administrator took offense to and I was ordered to remove it. I didn’t appreciate how it was handled, and I wrote an essay about it for The Storm. By Norm, never expecting there would be a lot of interest in it. I mostly wrote it for myself.
Surprisingly, it got way many more views than I expected. I had no idea how compelling a story it was - shadowy, behind the scenes intrigue, with powerful library people desperate to protect the library’s super woke reputation and eager to squash a tiny nobody like me, who dared to voice the most innocuous of deviations from the company line. Who knew that would be interesting to anybody? But, apparently it was. Which is why “Censored” wins The Stormie.
Honorable Mention: “Something Has Gone Terribly Wrong”, posted on July 22, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/something-has-gone-terribly-wrong
Next up is “The Essay That Did Not Do As Well As I Had Hoped Award”. And The Stormie goes to:
“A Special Little Guy Named TJ”, posted on April 29, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/a-special-little-guy-named-tj
When I started writing on Substack, I went through some of my old stuff to see if there was anything worth sharing. And, I was concerned about running out of stuff to post, as well. So I took several of these older stories and reworked them, then put them out there. This was one of those. I had written this story about our cat, TJ, some years ago, right after he died. With all the cat lovers out there, I thought cat stories would be golden. I thought wrong.
It is a cute, sweet, ultimately sad, cat story and I like it a lot. I don’t know, maybe I do not do cute and sweet as well as I do rants filled with snarky rage. I sometimes feel as though I failed TJ by not writing his story well enough to get a lot of views. But then I tell myself to be satisfied if I write what feels true to me. I can’t control who views what.
Honorable Mention: “Halloween Tales”, posted on October 28, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/halloween
Honorable Mention II: “Political Stew”. posted on December 23, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/political-stew
Number Three is “The Essay That Was The Most Fun To Write Award”. And The Stormie goes to:
“Close Encounters of the Celebrity Kind”, posted on September 2, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/close-encounters-of-the-celebrity
How could it not be fun to make up imaginary conversations with such fascinating people as Larry David, Moe Howard, and Rachel Maddow? I enjoy writing dialogue and with this particular idea, I could just let my imagination run free to write any damn thing that came into my head.
Now, those of you who have read “Close Encounters” might wonder how and why Moe Howard’s bare, wrinkled old Jewish ass showed up in my stream of consciousness. I do not have an answer for that. Nor do I have an answer as to why I imagined hitting on Rachel Maddow in an airport bar, or giving Larry David TV advice. But, I sure enjoyed losing myself in those fictional scenarios. So much so, that they almost seem real to me. In fact, I can see myself incorporating these stories into my personal history as if they actually happened. You have been warned.
Honorable Mention: “Are You In a Cult?”, posted on June 3, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/are-you-in-a-cult
This one is “The Most Difficult Essay to Write Award”. And The Stormie goes to:
“Questions of Identity”, posted on May 20, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/questions-of-identity
“Questions of Identity” was a tough one. I wanted to write something about being “woke”, while criticizing woke-ism for going too far, in some cases. I was concerned about being honest without seeming hurtful to those whose world is different from mine. I usually put my opinions out there without regard to how they’ll be perceived. We are all entitled to our opinions, right? In this case, though, I endeavored to walk the tightrope between being true to myself, and not hurting those with a different reality. I hope I accomplished that. But, man, it wasn’t easy.
Honorable Mention: “A Story Within a Story”, posted on May 13, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/a-story-within-a-story
The next one is “The Rantiest Essay Award”. And The Stormie goes to:
“Welfare for Billionaires”, posted on August 19, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/welfare-for-billionaires
Once I get going on a rant, it’s like a train going downhill without any brakes. It’s almost unstoppable. It is wonderfully liberating to just let it rip, you know? “Welfare for Billionaires” started out as part of a “Singles and Doubles” essay, meant to be a few ranty paragraphs about wealthy sports team owners that greedily slurp up tax dollars from the public trough. I quickly realized that I had much more to say on the subject than a few paragraphs.
I have found that, for me, the best rants tend to write themselves. The words just flow. All I have to do is write them down. That’s pretty much how “Welfare for Billionaires” was created.
Honorable Mention: “Hypocrisy Runs Rampant”, posted on February 4, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/hypocrisy-runs-rampant
How about this one? It’s “The Best Trip Down Memory Lane Award”. And, The Stormie goes to:
“A Library Love Story”, posted on February 11, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/a-library-love-story
“A Library Love Story” tells the tale of how I met my wife. This is another one of those stories I had written a few years ago that I updated and tweaked for publication on Substack.
It came about when I was asked if I would be interested in submitting something for the monthly library column in the local newspaper. I read a few of the previous submissions for this and it seemed as though they wanted a story about how great it was to work at the library and how much I love my job serving the public and all of that. Which was something I had little interest in doing.
So, instead of writing about how much I loved the library, I wrote about finding love at the library. It was rejected, but, I was given the opportunity to rewrite it, and after some back and forth, I declined. I liked the story as written, and I wasn’t that desperate to see my name in the newspaper.
I harbored no hard feelings about the situation. It wasn’t what they were looking for, although it would have been great for their column in February (Valentine’s Day, you know). Oh well, no big deal. The Storm. By Norm is a much better forum for sharing this wonderful memory, anyway.
Honorable Mention: “Grandma Cars”, posted on March 18, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/grandma-cars
A list of award winners would not be complete without “The Best Thing I Wrote All Year Award”. And The Stormie goes to:
“The Relentless Rhythm of the Waves”, posted on July 8, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/the-relentless-rhythms-of-the-waves
When I started The Storm. By Norm, I wanted to include some fictional short stories, in addition to capturing the many true-life ideas swimming around in my brainpan. Tales of love and loss are quite common, I guess, but I had never done one and I was intrigued by exploring that part of my imagination.
Funny thing, as I wrote about the man and woman and their relationship, they became real to me. They were not based on real people, but I eventually felt as if I knew them. Over the period of time it took to write “The Relentless Rhythm of the Waves”, I spent hours thinking about this couple and it was almost as if they were guiding me in telling the story. Their story. It was a weird experience, but an interesting one. Maybe that’s why I think so highly of it. Even though it was a first person narrative, I enjoyed getting outside of myself for once.
Honorable mention: “Close Encounters of the Celebrity Kind”, posted on September 2, 2023.
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/close-encounters-of-the-celebrity
All right, last one - “The Best Reader/Subscriber of the Year Award”. And, The Stormie goes to:
Actually, it was a first place tie. The Stormie goes to All Of You, All My Readers and Subscribers. I appreciate all of you, more than you’ll ever know. Thanks, everyone.
I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR WEEKLY ARTICLES. KEEP THEM COMING.