Rather than do a day by day recap of our recent Christmastime trip to Europe, I’m going to share a few highlights and lowlights, in no particular order.
Highlight: Being There.
Well, we went to Europe, for crying out loud! Just being able to say that is a highlight. My wife and I are not wealthy jet-setters. We cannot simply take off to who knows where on a whim.
But, we found a way to do this trip, leaving our comfort zone behind to experience the world, if only for a couple of weeks. We visited parts of Switzerland, Germany, Luxembourg, and France, and saw places I never dreamed I’d see with my own eyes, like the Swiss Alps and the Eiffel Tower. Plus, spending Christmas in Paris just sounds cool, you know?
“Do anything special for Christmas, Norm?”
“Oh, we were in Paris for Christmas.”
“Paris?”
“Yeah. Paris. France.”
Highlight: The Alps.
We quite enjoyed an excursion into the Swiss Alps. From Zurich, we took a bus, then caught a train that runs up into the Alps to a ski resort at the foot of the famous Eiger Mountain. I knew of The Eiger because it was the setting for a Clint Eastwood movie in the 70s called The Eiger Sanction. Never thought I’d see the mountain in person, though.
The area was blanketed with snow, but to our great good fortune, it was a bright, sunny day. We were prepared for cold, blustery conditions, however it was actually very pleasant and the views were spectacular. When it was time to leave, we took the sky tram instead of the train, and again, the views from our gondola were spectacular. We enjoyed the heck out of the Alps, even though I dislike snow and cold weather.
Lowlight: The Squeaky Shoe Guy.
Our ship was called the Viking Hild, and there were 183 people onboard (not including the crew). Naturally there were a few who were simply annoying in one way or another. I may have been that guy for many of my shipmates. I was the Squeaky Shoe Guy, and it was terribly annoying. Especially to me.
I had bought new shoes for my daily walks about six weeks before the trip, a pair of Reeboks, black, of course. When deciding what footwear to take to Europe, I considered the Reeboks to be my best bet. I knew we would be doing a lot of walking tours, in possibly wet conditions, and I thought the leather Reeboks would be perfect for that. Plus, being the newest shoes I owned, I figured they’d be the best looking shoes I had, too, thus allowing me to get away with having only one pair shoes, suitable for all occasions.
I had no idea they were so cartoonishly squeaky. It was like having a dog toy on each foot. How could I have not heard the squeaking before? All I can say is, when I go out for a walk, I put my headphones on to block out the world. I never noticed the farting noises my shoes were making.
But, I sure noticed in the airport that first morning. Squeak, squeak, squeak. Christ, it was annoying, but I thought maybe the floors were a little damp or something. Little did I know I was going to squeak my way all over Europe. Carpet, tile, bricks, cement, whatever surface I was walking on, it did not matter. Squeak, squeak, squeak, again and again and again. And, as I mentioned, they were the only shoes I had. Goddamn Reeboks annoyed the hell out of me on every day of the trip.
Highlight: The Luxembourg American Cemetery and Memorial.
We visited the Luxembourg American Cemetery and Memorial for about 45 minutes on our bus trip to Paris. It was quite moving. I’m really not a spiritual person, however, with each of the 5074 graves having a white cross marker and the whole area covered with several inches of snow, it made for kind of an ethereal, otherworldly experience. I’m glad we stopped there.
Lowlight: People Taking Selfies at the Luxembourg American Cemetery and Memorial.
I thought it was tremendously disrespectful for several grinning idiots to use the graves of those soldiers as background for their stupid selfies. Why do people behave that way?
Yes, I took pictures while I was there. But, I did it respectfully. I did not act as if I was at Disneyland.
Highlight: The Amazing Architecture.
It would just blow my mind when one of our guides would say, “Ground was broken for this building in 1132.” Or, “It took hundreds of years to complete this cathedral.” My brain can barely comprehend such amazing and artistic feats of engineering, done many, many centuries ago. To me, the grand old cathedrals and castles and other ancient buildings scattered throughout Europe are so much more impressive than anything that has been built in modern times using modern methods. More than once I asked myself, “How in the world did they do that a thousand years ago?”
And, this was in every town we visited - Zurich, Strasbourg, Mainz, Mannheim, Koblenz, Reims, Paris, the history was everywhere. Very cool.
Lowlight: An American and a Pole Clash in Germany.
I ran into a pole. No, not a person from Poland. I walked right into a metal stanchion face first. Here’s the story:
We were docked in Koblenz, Germany for a couple of days, and my wife was not feeling well at all. We had done a walking tour of the town the day before, so I felt somewhat familiar with the area near the ship. I decided to go into town to see if I could find a drugstore to get her some lozenges or a decongestant or something to help her feel better.
I came upon a smallish Christmas market that had been set up in an open, town square in Koblenz. I was walking along purposefully, looking for a drugstore among the permanent businesses surrounding the square, when Wham! I felt something hit me, hard, on the left cheekbone. There was a brief flash of white light and my face hurt like hell. I kept my feet, though, proving I can take a punch, I guess. I did kind of a quick check to make sure I still had all my teeth.
I had been walking on a small side street that bordered the square and was closed off to vehicles by several strategically placed poles. Given that I was looking around instead of watching where I was going, of course I walked face first right into one. Pow! I was staggered, and my glasses were askew, but after a few moments of disorientation, I was able to shake it off and keep going.
And, I never was able to find a drugstore. I must have passed ten different shoe stores, and lots of other shops and businesses, but no pharmacies. From this I concluded that Germans really love shoes, and never get sick. What other explanation could there be?
Highlight: The Gutenberg Museum, in Mainz, Germany.
Johannes Gutenberg was the inventor of the moveable-type printing press, one of the most consequential inventions in human history. He was born in Mainz, Germany, and one of our off-ship tours took us to the museum in Mainz dedicated to Gutenberg and his invention.
Our guide was a scholarly, middle-aged man named Werner, and he really knew his stuff. He took us around to the various exhibits and gave us a brief history of what we were seeing. My favorite part was when Werner led us into a room that had a operational re-creation of Gutenberg’s printing press. Werner then gave us a demonstration on how it worked. The type was already loaded into position, so he showed us how to apply the ink and load the paper in the press. He printed out a page of the Gutenberg Bible, just as Johannes Gutenberg had done nearly 600 years ago. It was as if a bit of history came to life.
Werner asked our group if anyone had a birthday in December. Not wanting to bring too much attention to myself, I sort of caught his eye and gave him a little wave, as, in fact, my birthday happens to be in December. He then gave me the page he printed as the group engaged in a light round of applause. So, that became a nice keepsake from our visit to the museum.
Lowlight: A Lot of Us Got Sick.
It was bound to happen. We could hear coughing and sneezing and sniffling all around us, and being in such close quarters on airplanes, buses, and our cruise ship with hundreds of strangers, it was only a matter of time before we inhaled someone else’s germs.
I had a covid mask with me for just such an eventuality, but I was too lazy to dig it out of my bag. After a few chancy days, I still felt fine and began to think if I hadn’t gotten the creeping crud by now, I wasn’t going to get it at all.
Wrong.
I got it. I felt started feeling crummy just as we got to Paris for the last three days of our trip. I skipped the tour that took our group inside Notre Dame (my wife said it was fantastic), but I pushed myself to do the other tours, thinking that I didn’t come to Paris to lay around our hotel room. After it was all over, I was glad I was able to get out and see the sights, but my ass sure was dragging by the time we reached the last day.
Highlight: Coming Home.
We have special memories from spending almost two full weeks in Europe. However, for me, it was a huge highlight to walk through our door when we finally got home. I was so happy to be where I belonged, and to reconnect with Chester and Pearl and sleep in my own bed.
The trip was wonderful, but that old saying is certainly true: There’s no place like home.
To my highlightable subscribers, thank you for your support.
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Something to say about A European Christmas? Well, then . . .
Wow what a spectacular trip!! Thanks for sharing. Excellent photos too.
Always beware of squeaky shoes, hidden poles and people with the sniffles when traveling. Otherwise it sounds like you had a great trip.