Norm Goes to the Dentist

Finally

A few months ago, I submitted a post called My Ancestry is Hillbilly.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/my-ancestry-is-hillbilly

In it, I provided evidence of my hillbillyness. However, I left out one rather large example:

I never set foot in a dentist’s office until I was 47 years old. Let the hillbillyness of that sink in for a moment.

Okay, well, I might still be lacking in hillbilly cred because, amazingly, I still have almost all of my teeth. There may be folks who wonder, “Wow, Norm, why did you never go to the dentist?” Good question. Let’s delve into it.

My siblings and I were taught to brush our teeth once a day, right before bedtime. I can still hear my dad saying, “Get in there and get those teeth brushed.” If we kind of dawdled around, he would encourage us with a little more urgency, “Go brush those goddamn teeth!”

I was pretty lucky, teethwise. My primary teeth were all straight and normal. I remember participating in the whole “tooth fairy” charade. I don’t think I ever believed in it, but I liked finding a dime or a quarter under my pillow when I lost a tooth, so it was all good.

My secondary teeth all came in straight and normal, as well. I continued to brush every day, more or less, and I just never had any issues.

We lived out in the country, but there was a dentist in a nearby town, so it wasn’t a matter of being unable to get to a dentist regularly because were isolated out in the sticks. No, we didn't go to a doctor or a dentist unless we had a problem. We never did regular maintenance visits. Maybe visiting a medical or dental professional cost too much if there wasn’t an immediate reason to go.

Painless? Yeah, right.

I remember the eldest of my younger brothers had a toothache once, so he had to go in, and all my other siblings eventually had to go for one reason or another, but I never had a problem, so I never went.

I believe it was 7th grade when a dentist came around to my school and looked in everyone’s mouth. So, I did get what had to have been a cursory exam at that time. The only thing I recall about it, is that the dentist said I had a cavity. I never had any pain and nothing was ever done about it, so, I don’t know, maybe it healed up by itself.

I sailed through my teen years into adulthood without having visited a dentist’s office. Lucky me.

Eventually, I got my first real job and one of the benefits was coverage under the company’s dental plan. But I did not use it. I still had the mindset of only seeing a medical professional when there was an actual problem. I continued brushing my teeth once a day, but I had switched to doing it in the morning. Working in an office-type setting, I learned the value of having fresh minty breath when working closely with other folks.

I would hear people speak of their visits to the dentist. Most of the time, I had no idea what they were talking about. I knew what a cavity was, but I did not know terms such as root canal, gingivitis, crown, bridge, orthodontia - heck, I didn’t even know what flossing was. And, usually the talk was couched in painful sounding terms.

Occasionally, I would think since I had dental insurance anyway, I should go get my teeth checked out. I never did, though. And, it was not because I was afraid, despite the horror stories I’d heard. No, I did not go for a much more stupid reason. Well, actually there were two stupid reasons.

One was, I kind of liked feeling superior to everyone else. My teeth were straight and white and I never had a toothache, so in my mind, that was evidence of my superior genes and strength. Regular people had to go to the dentist, but not me. In retrospect, I can see the ridiculousness of thinking that way.

But, the second reason is quite possibly even more stupid. I did not want to go to the dentist because I was working on a streak. I had not visited a dentist for all those consecutive years and I did not want to break my streak. In other words, I chose to risk all of my teeth falling out, rather than break some arbitrary streak that was unknown and meaningless to the rest of the world. How stupid was that? Sometimes my mind makes me do the dumbest things.

The years flew by as I advanced into middle age, secure in the knowledge that, at least in the world of dentistry, I was superior to common folk. My teeth were great, and I had still never set foot in a dentist’s office.

Until . . .

It was the most benign thing I could have been doing. I was eating a bowl of soggy, mushy cereal. I started feeling a sharp, deep pain in one of my molars, way in the back on the upper right side. It literally brought me to my knees. I knew I wouldn’t be able to just live with it. And, I knew my no-dentist streak was about to end.

The pain was caused by an abscessed tooth, and it had to be yanked. As I was being prepped, one of the dental professionals asked me when was the last time my teeth had been cleaned. I replied that they had never been cleaned and this was the first time I had ever been in a dentist’s office. They seemed quite surprised a 47 year old man who had never been to a dentist still had a mouthful of mostly good teeth.

After the dentist pulled the abscessed tooth, I was strongly encouraged to come back for a thorough cleaning. He informed me that with all the years of neglect, there were issues with my gums, too. He impressed upon me it wasn’t too late to begin taking care of my teeth to avoid serious problems in the future.

I thought of my many toothless aunts and uncles, and I knew I did not want to wind up like them, so I changed my ways immediately and did a 180° regarding my dental health. I started brushing twice a day, and I began flossing and using a dental rinse once a day. My teeth are cleaned every four months.

I didn’t want this to happen to me.

In the years since that first visit, some issues have come up. I eventually had to have an unpleasant and expensive surgery to address my gum issues. And, recently, a small chunk broke off of one of my molars, resulting in my first crown. That was unpleasant, too.

It has been worth it, though, because I still have a mouthful of real, not false, teeth at my age, unlike some members of my extended family. A painful dental episode caused me to finally overcome my hillbillyness, and I am now an advocate and a practitioner of good dental health habits.

And, some people think I am too set in my ways to ever change. Proving them wrong makes me smile.

To my tasteful subscribers, thank you for your support.

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