I didn’t really have a father, I had my Grandpa. He was the love of my life. Lucky to have had him for the 50 years I did! I miss him to this very day. RIP, dear Papa. Thank you for loving me.
I feel the same way about my step father, who was a dear father to me for many years. He called me once a week to check on me. He was also my "papa"...I'm sad, but glad to have been so lucky.
Good for you, for compiling what you could about your father's and your relationship together. It's always good to look onto it from the inside and try to understand what went right and what went wrong. We seems, when we look back at our lives with our family members, that we remember what was good and try to forget what was bad. Carry with you what was good. That is the part of your dad he wanted for you. I, too, wish I had communicated better with my dad, but I understood his emotions and his sensitivities because they are so like mine. I tried to be strong and independent after my dad left when I was four. I missed him, but I didn't know really, what I missed. He hugged me and said he loved me...and he really loved my mom...and said I was so much like her. He saw mom in me. And it made him sad. He, too, was in the service, in the Navy during WWII. I think both our fathers changed when they were in the service. My brother sure did. Boot camp, he said, stripped him of his childhood and the need to be kind to everyone. Instead he learned how to be hard and distance and not be afraid to kill a person...or feared to be killed. Men's lives are drained when they go into the service. It's sad. I'm sure your dad, nor mine, ever wanted to tell us what really hurt him...what they saw during the war that changed them forever. I'm just glad he and mom decided to connect so I could be here. For the most part, Life has been good to me. Look, we can both write pretty good and they gave us that, somehow. A way to express ourselves in writing. Perhaps he read your story...I want to think he did. He'd be proud.
Thank you for your comments, Kate. I would like to think my father was proud of me and my siblings. We all overcame a lot to become decent human beings. I have my regrets, for sure, but everyone has to navigate the obstacles of life with the tools they have. Perhaps my father and I each fell short in some way regarding the relationship we could have had, but we did the best we could. That has to be enough.
Your writing, and descriptions, of your dad were perfect and spot on. He was a giant of a man, a quiet man. But he showed love. I believe, in his mind, going to work every day and bringing home a paycheck was his way of demonstrating his love for his family. Men of his age and time didn't tell their family they were loved, instead they showed acts of love.
Well, Most Wonderful Sister-in-Law, thank you very much for your kind words. My wife and I have lucked out when it comes to in-laws, that’s for sure. I love you, too, and by the way, thanks for marrying my brother. He’s quite the lucky boy.
absolutely. When I look back and remember the short time I had with my dad and where I was mentally...and my age at the time, I'm pretty sure I did what I could with what I had. When I was with him I gave him the best that I could with what little knowledge I had. Like you said, wouldn't it be great if we could bring him back now and ask all those questions and say all those things I didn't say? So spend special time with those you love and share what you can now while they are still with you. If you haven't done so, I suggest you sign up with Ancestry.com. It is really easy to send them your DNA and you will learn so much about your family history. It will help you know more about your dad and how he grew up and his parents, etc. I LOVE IT!
I didn’t really have a father, I had my Grandpa. He was the love of my life. Lucky to have had him for the 50 years I did! I miss him to this very day. RIP, dear Papa. Thank you for loving me.
I feel the same way about my step father, who was a dear father to me for many years. He called me once a week to check on me. He was also my "papa"...I'm sad, but glad to have been so lucky.
Good for you, for compiling what you could about your father's and your relationship together. It's always good to look onto it from the inside and try to understand what went right and what went wrong. We seems, when we look back at our lives with our family members, that we remember what was good and try to forget what was bad. Carry with you what was good. That is the part of your dad he wanted for you. I, too, wish I had communicated better with my dad, but I understood his emotions and his sensitivities because they are so like mine. I tried to be strong and independent after my dad left when I was four. I missed him, but I didn't know really, what I missed. He hugged me and said he loved me...and he really loved my mom...and said I was so much like her. He saw mom in me. And it made him sad. He, too, was in the service, in the Navy during WWII. I think both our fathers changed when they were in the service. My brother sure did. Boot camp, he said, stripped him of his childhood and the need to be kind to everyone. Instead he learned how to be hard and distance and not be afraid to kill a person...or feared to be killed. Men's lives are drained when they go into the service. It's sad. I'm sure your dad, nor mine, ever wanted to tell us what really hurt him...what they saw during the war that changed them forever. I'm just glad he and mom decided to connect so I could be here. For the most part, Life has been good to me. Look, we can both write pretty good and they gave us that, somehow. A way to express ourselves in writing. Perhaps he read your story...I want to think he did. He'd be proud.
Thank you for your comments, Kate. I would like to think my father was proud of me and my siblings. We all overcame a lot to become decent human beings. I have my regrets, for sure, but everyone has to navigate the obstacles of life with the tools they have. Perhaps my father and I each fell short in some way regarding the relationship we could have had, but we did the best we could. That has to be enough.
Dearest Brother-in-law,
Your writing, and descriptions, of your dad were perfect and spot on. He was a giant of a man, a quiet man. But he showed love. I believe, in his mind, going to work every day and bringing home a paycheck was his way of demonstrating his love for his family. Men of his age and time didn't tell their family they were loved, instead they showed acts of love.
Like playing catch with his oldest son. :)
I love you! And, so did your dad.
Robin
Well, Most Wonderful Sister-in-Law, thank you very much for your kind words. My wife and I have lucked out when it comes to in-laws, that’s for sure. I love you, too, and by the way, thanks for marrying my brother. He’s quite the lucky boy.
absolutely. When I look back and remember the short time I had with my dad and where I was mentally...and my age at the time, I'm pretty sure I did what I could with what I had. When I was with him I gave him the best that I could with what little knowledge I had. Like you said, wouldn't it be great if we could bring him back now and ask all those questions and say all those things I didn't say? So spend special time with those you love and share what you can now while they are still with you. If you haven't done so, I suggest you sign up with Ancestry.com. It is really easy to send them your DNA and you will learn so much about your family history. It will help you know more about your dad and how he grew up and his parents, etc. I LOVE IT!