Walking With the Devil on a Twisted Road
A Sequel to "A Conversation With the Devil"
“Walking with the Devil on a twisted road . . .”
- Neil Young
A few years ago, Neil Young and Crazy Horse put out an album called Psychedelic Pill which included the song Twisted Road. As I listened to it on one of my morning walks, the line “Walking with the devil on a twisted road . . .” created an intriguing image in my mind. I thought, “That’s an intriguing image.” I remembered a post I wrote a few months ago called A Conversation With the Devil:
https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/a-conversation-with-the-devil
It got me to thinking perhaps I could do a sequel. That is what this is.
This post will require readers to imagine their favorite Substacker (that would be me), walking and talking with the Devil on a twisted road.
Devil: “Hello, Norman.”
Norm: “Oh, hey Devil. Haven’t seen you around for a while.”
Devil: “Well, I’m always around, you know, whether you see me or not.”
Norm: “Yeah, yeah, I know, the ubiquitous Prince of Darkness, creating havoc on Earth and filling up Hell with our immortal souls, damned for all eternity, blah, blah, blah.”
Devil: “Still a skeptic I see.”
Norm: “Can’t get anything past you, Dev.”
Devil: “So, Norm, what are you doing out here, walking on this twisted road?”
Norm: “Well, I’m sure you know, walking is my thing. I walk every day. Apparently, I even walk in my imaginary conversations.”
Devil: “Imaginary? Don’t you think it’s odd that you profess to not believe in my existence, yet you have these ‘imaginary’ conversations with me?”
Norm: “I have a vivid imagination.”
Devil: “Or maybe there is some part of you who thinks I do exist. Maybe you are a little worried you and I are going to wind up together for a really long time. Maybe you’re worried I have fucked up your precious America so badly that it is going to be Hell on Earth. Maybe you are concerned I’ve put a special Devil hex on your Pittsburgh Pirates, condemning them to suck forever. Maybe seeing all the evil in the world is giving you doubts. Maybe, as you get closer and closer to the end, you are getting just a little bit scared about the possibility you’ve been wrong about me all these years.”
Norm: “Nah, I ain’t worried about any of that.”
Devil: “You sure?”
Norm: “Yeah, come on man, we’ve been over this.”
Devil: “Yes, I guess we have. I just find it hard to believe you’re not concerned about me. It seems like everything is going to Hell, if you’ll pardon the expression.”
Norm: “Oh, I’m concerned about a lot of things. I’m definitely concerned about my country. I actually wish I could blame how bad it is on some evil supernatural being, such as yourself. It would make more sense. What’s the matter with people, anyway? I’ll never understand why so many average Americans vote for candidates who do not support funding school lunches and rural hospitals and universal healthcare, but vote for those who favor giving welfare to rich folks in the form of tax breaks and loopholes designed to benefit the one-percenters, not the rest of us. The stupidity in America is mind-boggling.”
Devil: “Well, that all just shows you how good I am at my job.”
Norm: “Whatever.”
Devil: “You know, I get a kick out of when you get all fired up about something.”
Norm: “I don’t know what to say to that.”
Devil: “You seem like a quiet, at times sullen, kind of guy, who doesn’t care about much of anything. But, the truth is, you have a passion, a fire, burning inside of you about a lot of things, don’t you?”
Norm: “What are you, my therapist? Is that why we’re walking along on this crooked, twisty road? So you can worm your way into my consciousness? So maybe I’ll start believing in your existence?”
Devil: “Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying. I noticed you evaded the question by asking questions of your own. A classic tactic for deflecting a question that you don’t want to answer, eh?”
Norm: “Man, you’re all full of psychobabble bullshit, aren't you?”
Devil: “More deflection.”
Norm: “If I’m deflecting it’s only because you are annoying the hell out of me. Pardon the expression. Watch out for that big pothole.”
Devil: “Thanks. This road is terrible. Worse than the road to——”
Norm: “Worse than the road to Hell, right? Geez, you’re so predictable.”
Devil: “Yeah, well, maybe so, but at least you know what you’re getting with me. I’m all about what’s bad and evil. Everybody knows that because I am so up front about it.”
Norm: “So what do you want? A fucking medal for being honest?”
Devil: “Well, dang, I thought we were just talking. You don’t have to be such a dick about it.”
Norm and the Devil continue walking in silence for a few minutes.
Norm: “Look, Dev, I’m sorry for being dickish. It’s just that I have a lot on my mind already ——”
Devil: “Come on, don’t do that. I know a fake apology when I hear it.”
Norm: “Yeah, okay, it was a fake apology. I knew your feelings weren’t hurt, anyway. If you are going to present yourself as the Devil, you can’t be going around having hurt feelings. I would think a real Devil doesn’t even have feelings. I just wanted to hear your response, that’s all.”
Devil: “This is why we should join forces. We know each other so well. Why don’t you come on over and join me on the dark side? You know you want to.”
Norm: “Thanks for the invite, Dev, but I must decline. You’re imaginary, remember? No, you’ll just have to be satisfied with these little talks from time to time.”
Devil: “Okay, Norm, I just want you to know you’ll always have a spot on my team.”
Norm: “Thanks, Devil. I guess.”
Devil: “You’re welcome. Hey, look, there’s a sign up ahead. What does it say? I don’t have my glasses with me.”
Norm: “It says, ‘Dead End’. Dead End? Hey, wait a minute, what are you really doing here? What are you smiling about? This couldn’t be the road to——”
Devil: “Hahahaha, no Norm, it’s just a regular road sign, telling us we’re at the end of this twisted road. Hahahaha, for a second there, you thought we were about to enter my world at the end of this road to Hell, didn’t you? Hahahahaha!”
Norm: “You know what, Devil? I do not like you very much.”
Devil: “Awww, that kind of hurts my feelings. Not! Well, I have to go, I have shit to do, souls to corrupt, lives to ruin, you know how it is. I’ll be seeing you again on down the twisted road.”
Norm: “Hey, Devil? I just want to tell you something.”
Devil: “Yeah, Norm?”
Norm: “Go to Hell. And stop bothering me.”
Devil: “Hahaha, that’s a heck of an idea! That’s exactly what I would have said if I were you! See how simpatico we are? I can’t wait to get you on my team! See you soon!”
Norm: “(sigh)”
To my devilish subscribers, thank you for your support.
And, don’t be afraid to scroll to the bottom and hit that Like button! (But, only if you really mean it.)
Do you have something to say about Walking With the Devil on a Twisted Road? Well, then . . .
In re: No Kings Day...I pray he doesn't show up naked in the parade. Oh, that's right. I won't be watching the parade from hell. I'm sure we are all excited to learn about our War machines and when we can use them again. I'll be peeking at it via MSNBC. I'm sure they will have plenty to say about it. I'd need support if I were to watch something as depressing as The Fake King's parade. Happy Jester Day, Norm!
Hi Norm,
This was a nice distraction from all the chaos we have been experiencing this week. I like that the Devil has a sense of humor. I can see you and him trading jabs as you walk down the winding road.
Happy No Kings Day!