"The Stormies" - 2024

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At the end of 2023, I wrote “The Stormies”. In it, I gave myself several awards for essays I had written throughout the year. It was such a rousing success (?) I decided to do it again for 2024. So, let’s go get some. Here are The Stormies for 2024!

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Just like last year, the first award is for “The Essay That Did Way Better Than I Thought It Would Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“It’s a Beautiful Thing, posted on July 13, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/its-a-beautiful-thing

By mid-July, I had already had enough of 2024. I’m not really a positive guy to start with, and there was so much crap going on, especially regarding the upcoming election, I felt the need to write something that was less . . . angry. So, I wrote a few paragraphs about things that make me happy.

It wasn’t all puppy dogs and rainbows, though. I was able to get a few zingers in, because, well, I’m able to find joy in bashing those who deserve it.

I never really thought about how it would be received by my readers, I simply felt it was something I needed to do at the time. Going by the number of views it garnered, it turned out to be one of my top ten essays of the year. Perhaps it was kind of a palate-cleanser for the vitriol to come.

Honorable Mention: “The Do-It-Yourselfer”, posted on November 23, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/the-do-it-yourselfer

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Of course, there is an opposite to the essay that did unexpectedly well. So, this is “The Essay That Did Not Do As Well As I Had Hoped Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“Singles and Doubles Vol 9”, posted on June 29, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/singles-and-doubles-vol-9

I do a “Singles and Doubles” every two or three months, sometimes they do pretty well, sometimes they do not. I have not been able to discern a pattern as to why this is. The subject matter is kind of random, I guess. But, I like that. Often, there is something for everyone in a “Singles and Doubles”. Which means there is something for everyone to dislike in a “Singles and Doubles”, too. Oh, well, I like doing them, and I always believe they are good, whether they get lots of views or not. I think that old adage applies here, “You can’t please everyone, so you may as well please yourself.”

Honorable Mention: “Questions, Questions”, posted on February 17, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/questions-questions

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Next up is “The Essay That Maybe Was Not Laugh Out Loud Funny, But I Thought It Was Pretty Amusing Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“Being a Trophy Husband Ain’t Easy”, posted on September 7, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/being-a-trophy-husband-aint-easy

It was fun to tell the story of how people think I look like famous movie star Sam Elliott. Being compared to Sam multiple times, with witnesses, is kind of validating, you know? So, I wrote it up and posted it.

There were no belly laughs, and no knee-slappers prompting tears of laughter included in this essay. But, I thought it was amusing, nonetheless. I thought it was especially clever to slip in a picture of George Clooney instead of me at the end.

I’ve seen the commercials Sam Elliott has been doing for USAA recently, and I hate to say it, but he is not aging well. (Sorry, Sam.) I don’t know, maybe it’s his unusually bad haircut. There may come a time when I won’t be bragging about looking like him. Guess I haven’t reached that point yet, though.

Honorable Mention: “Norm’s Rules”, posted March 9, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/norms-rules

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This one is particularly dear to my heart. It’s “My Favorite Essay With ‘Norm’ In the Title Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“The Court of Norm”, posted May 4, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/the-court-of-norm

It could be said that someone who continually puts his name in the titles of stuff he writes, is mighty stuck on himself. I mean, The Storm. By NORM anyone? That’s a clue right there.

Okay, so I’m guilty of being my own biggest fan. But, it all balances out in the end because I’m also my own worst enemy. So, it’s a wash. For those who wonder, yes, the continual battle between fan and enemy is terribly exhausting.

Honorable Mention: “Norm Interviews Norm!”, posted on April 20, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/norm-interviews-norm

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Time for “The Best Trip Down Memory Lane Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“Remembering My Father”, posted on June 15, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/remembering-my-father

This was an emotional post about the relationship I had with my father, and the relationship I wish I’d had with him. I expressed thoughts I’d had over the years about my Pops, some of which I should have shared with him, but didn’t.

The picture I’ve included here is of him and me, and is my favorite of the two of us. Maybe it’s because this photo is kind of funny, and at the same time, it is symbolic of our relationship. We’re just sitting on his porch swing, unashamedly showing off our white socks and black shoes, watching the traffic go by. We are together, but our mouths are closed. A lot of our time together was like that. (sigh)

Honorable Mention: “My Ancestry is Hillbilly”, posted July 20, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/my-ancestry-is-hillbilly

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Here’s “The Essay That Was The Most Fun To Write Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“The 2nd Worst Person on the Face of the Earth”, posted on March 16, 2024.

Perhaps revealing that I get an immense amount of pleasure from tearing other people down, is not a character trait I should be advertising. But, it’s true, especially when I’m ripping apart hypocritical politicians or famous rich people. In this essay, I blasted the likes of Turd Cruz, Alex Jones, Marjorie Taylor Dumbass, and Mitch McConnell, to name just a few, and it was tremendous fun. The most difficult aspect of writing this essay was there were too many worthy jerks I had to leave out. It wouldn’t have been possible to include them all.

Just putting my fingers on the keyboard and letting it rip is tremendously satisfying. Well, it is satisfying in the moment, anyway.

Honorable Mention: “A Conversation With the Devil”, posted November 16, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/a-conversation-with-the-devil

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And finally, “The Best Damn Thing I Wrote All Year Award”. And The Stormie goes to:

“Lying Like Normal People Breathe”, posted on October 26, 2024.

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/lying-like-normal-people-breathe

Given the election debacle, this may be a surprising choice for “The Best Damn Thing I Wrote All Year”. And, the truth is, it did not get the most views or likes. But, after reading it again recently, I would not change anything about it. With all due modesty, I believe I made an excellent case for not voting for a lying, misogynist criminal to be President of the United States. The fact that my side lost, does not change how I feel about what I wrote. Of all the posts I published this year, this is the one that said what I was trying to say better than any other. And that’s why it gets The Stormie.

Honorable Mention: “Message to Men: Stop Whining”, posted on November 30, 2024,

https://thestormbynorm.substack.com/p/message-to-men-stop-whining

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Just like last year, there was a tie for “The Best Subscriber to The Storm. By Norm”, and, just like last year, you all tied for first. Congrats to everyone! But, more importantly, congrats to me for having you as subscribers in the first place. A heartfelt Thank You, to each and every one of you.

Look! Sam Elliott is endorsing The Storm. By Norm!

To my award-winning subscribers, thank you for your support.

And, don’t be afraid to scroll to the bottom and hit that Like button! (But, only if you really mean it.)

Do you have something to say about The Stormies - 2024? Well, then . . .